If you thought you read that statement incorrectly, it should say 'why I'm leaving higher education.' Yep. It's true. The word is out, and so I've decided it's definitely time I write about some really important things that are happening in my life a little more publicly. Mostly because I am really excited about these changes, and partly because I feel there's a lot of judgment going on about my decisions and I'd like to clarify why I'm taking this path.
For those who have not heard the news (which is probably most of you), I put in my resignation at NC State and will be joining the lululemon team. I will be working in the store and am excited about this opportunity. I have loved my past retail experiences. I love what lululemon stands for and their community engagement. I am not making this choice because I am desperate to get out of my current position or because it's the only job I could find. I am making this choice because I feel it's the right one for me. And here's why.
1. I've become a hypocrite.
As a student affairs professional, I tell my students regularly 'if you don't take care of yourself first- mentally, physically, emotionally- then you aren't going to be good to anyone else.' And I will be the first to admit that I have lost sight of prioritizing that in my own life. Granted, I have no excuses this time of year, when my schedule is more 'normal', but for a good 3-4 months of the year, my hours are irregular and incredibly demanding, where I fall asleep within 5 minutes of sitting down on the couch and my feet ache from walking or standing all day. I can hardly put together coherent sentences sometimes, much less get myself to go to the greenway for a run. I had started a practice of meditating 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night and I haven't done that since about the first of June. I am a hypocrite and I will not allow myself to continue to live that way.
I am going to re-prioritize and commit to my own well-being, because I wholeheartedly believe what I tell my students; I am no good for anyone else if I don't take care of myself. If I don't run or go to barre classes. If I don't take those 5 minutes of silence and reflection each morning and night. If I don't go to the grocery store and take time to prepare healthy and fulfilling meals to eat each week. If I don't get my 'me time' and time with the community I have- whether in person or via FaceTime or phone conversations. If I don't get time to cuddle with my girls and show them how much I love them. If I don't get to travel and expand my horizons. I need to do the things that make me me and take care of myself.
2. I'm losing time.
I don't think it's a secret that I have an age complex. I am 32 and yet still regularly carded and/or asked if I am a college student. Most people still think I'm about 18-20, regardless of my hair, makeup and/or attire. And while I appreciate my youthful appearance and know I will really appreciate it when I'm 60 and look in my 40s (or at least hope I will!), but right now, I wouldn't mind looking like I'm about 32. So this might sound like I've gotten extra time, but I'm already 32. Holy crap I'm 32. And yes, I realize it's still young. I have to have that conversation in my head, a lot. But here's the thing, I have lots of things I want to do. I have a long list of countries I want to visit. I want to have a successful committed relationship. I might even want kids. I want to have happy hours with my friends while kid schedules don't dominate every moment for all of them. I want to be able to take a vacation in the summer with my friends at the beach. I want to be able to accomplish all of these things (and more!) and I can't do these things the way I want to currently.
Yes, my position has afforded me a lot of incredible opportunities. I've traveled to a lot of great places and met lots of wonderful people. I've (hopefully) had an impact on many lives through my work. I hope I've made my offices, programs and Universities better because of what I've done there. I have loved so many moments over my 11 summers working orientation programs, and trainings I've held, and office conversations I've been a part of. And I don't regret it. But my priorities have changed.
3. My priorities have changed.
I think I can create meaning in a lot of ways in this world, and that's something that is personally fulfilling to me. I started in higher education because I loved orientation. I loved helping new students and their families fall in love with a University I loved and feel good about that choice. Then I fell in love with working with families during their student's college experience and embracing them as an important part of that community. I loved their nervousness, their desire to express how they feel and provide meaningful feedback, and their want for their student to be happy and successful. I fell in love with working with college students. Helping them figure out how to juggle their schedules and manage time (or not). Helping them understand professional expectations and grow as individuals. Playing with them and watching them build their own family through our programs and shared experiences. Being touched in those moments of vulnerability and need for love and acceptance. It's been amazing and magical. And something that cannot be replaced.
When a student I work with saw my email saying I was leaving, his response was 'You're leaving the Pack?' and I responded 'Can you ever really leave the pack once you're a part of it?' and I meant that. Just like I'll always be a Bobcat (first and foremost), and Spartan, and a part of the Crimson Tide, and a part of the Pack. These pieces of me will always exist.
I just also want to be a good partner. And a good friend (something I feel like I have been extremely negligent on to too many far away loved ones this year). A good daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter. My identity doesn't solely rest on what I do at work. And yes, I take incredible pride in my work, but I feel I've let some of those other identities slip a bit, and I want to place more emphasis on those parts of my life.
4. I don't see this as a step down.
This is what I am most hurt by, and I hope this isn't the perception of many, but I fear it is. I love positions that allow me to serve. In between my undergraduate and graduate degrees, I randomly applied to and accepted a job at Victoria's Secret. Bras and panties, right? Not entirely. It was about helping people find products that let them feel good. Provided them with comfort and support. Hopefully more comfortable in their bodies. So many of the guests I worked with had undergone some kind of transformation-- maybe the birth of a child, maybe a mastectomy, maybe an enhancement, or weight loss. And they trusted me to help them find products that made them comfortable. Or sexy. I'll never forget working with one (slightly challenging) guest who was unexpectedly in town for a death in her family and was emotionally distraught and needing help getting garments for her trip. And I had the chance to provide her some support.
Working retail gives me an opportunity to connect with people in a new way. And with lululemon, not only can I focus on taking better care of myself (since it's workout apparel and programs), but I can help others too. And more importantly, be inspired by them. Not every exchange is that way; sometimes the exchanges are superficial, and that's fine. But it's no different than how I do my work now. Each lululemon store is unique based on the community it's a part of. The store I'll be joining hosts a run club and yoga classes at no cost to the community. I can't wait to be a part of that. I think every position has a purpose and that none is better than the other. I think it all comes from an individual's satisfaction with what they do. And yes, I haven't started yet, but I am damn excited to join the lululemon team.
So yes, after 11 summers, 2 degrees, and 7 years as a professional, I am leaving higher education. And quite frankly, the reasons I've detailed here as just the tip of the iceberg as to why I am leaving. But I don't need to share my whole story. That's not how I live my life. In fact, I've debated all week about writing what I've chosen to above. But this is my story. And I know that those who truly love and care about me are backing me. And whether I fly or fail, I will never regret making this change and living my life bravely and boldly.
For those who have not heard the news (which is probably most of you), I put in my resignation at NC State and will be joining the lululemon team. I will be working in the store and am excited about this opportunity. I have loved my past retail experiences. I love what lululemon stands for and their community engagement. I am not making this choice because I am desperate to get out of my current position or because it's the only job I could find. I am making this choice because I feel it's the right one for me. And here's why.
1. I've become a hypocrite.
I am going to re-prioritize and commit to my own well-being, because I wholeheartedly believe what I tell my students; I am no good for anyone else if I don't take care of myself. If I don't run or go to barre classes. If I don't take those 5 minutes of silence and reflection each morning and night. If I don't go to the grocery store and take time to prepare healthy and fulfilling meals to eat each week. If I don't get my 'me time' and time with the community I have- whether in person or via FaceTime or phone conversations. If I don't get time to cuddle with my girls and show them how much I love them. If I don't get to travel and expand my horizons. I need to do the things that make me me and take care of myself.
2. I'm losing time.
I don't think it's a secret that I have an age complex. I am 32 and yet still regularly carded and/or asked if I am a college student. Most people still think I'm about 18-20, regardless of my hair, makeup and/or attire. And while I appreciate my youthful appearance and know I will really appreciate it when I'm 60 and look in my 40s (or at least hope I will!), but right now, I wouldn't mind looking like I'm about 32. So this might sound like I've gotten extra time, but I'm already 32. Holy crap I'm 32. And yes, I realize it's still young. I have to have that conversation in my head, a lot. But here's the thing, I have lots of things I want to do. I have a long list of countries I want to visit. I want to have a successful committed relationship. I might even want kids. I want to have happy hours with my friends while kid schedules don't dominate every moment for all of them. I want to be able to take a vacation in the summer with my friends at the beach. I want to be able to accomplish all of these things (and more!) and I can't do these things the way I want to currently.
Yes, my position has afforded me a lot of incredible opportunities. I've traveled to a lot of great places and met lots of wonderful people. I've (hopefully) had an impact on many lives through my work. I hope I've made my offices, programs and Universities better because of what I've done there. I have loved so many moments over my 11 summers working orientation programs, and trainings I've held, and office conversations I've been a part of. And I don't regret it. But my priorities have changed.
3. My priorities have changed.
I think I can create meaning in a lot of ways in this world, and that's something that is personally fulfilling to me. I started in higher education because I loved orientation. I loved helping new students and their families fall in love with a University I loved and feel good about that choice. Then I fell in love with working with families during their student's college experience and embracing them as an important part of that community. I loved their nervousness, their desire to express how they feel and provide meaningful feedback, and their want for their student to be happy and successful. I fell in love with working with college students. Helping them figure out how to juggle their schedules and manage time (or not). Helping them understand professional expectations and grow as individuals. Playing with them and watching them build their own family through our programs and shared experiences. Being touched in those moments of vulnerability and need for love and acceptance. It's been amazing and magical. And something that cannot be replaced.
When a student I work with saw my email saying I was leaving, his response was 'You're leaving the Pack?' and I responded 'Can you ever really leave the pack once you're a part of it?' and I meant that. Just like I'll always be a Bobcat (first and foremost), and Spartan, and a part of the Crimson Tide, and a part of the Pack. These pieces of me will always exist.
I just also want to be a good partner. And a good friend (something I feel like I have been extremely negligent on to too many far away loved ones this year). A good daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter. My identity doesn't solely rest on what I do at work. And yes, I take incredible pride in my work, but I feel I've let some of those other identities slip a bit, and I want to place more emphasis on those parts of my life.
4. I don't see this as a step down.
This is what I am most hurt by, and I hope this isn't the perception of many, but I fear it is. I love positions that allow me to serve. In between my undergraduate and graduate degrees, I randomly applied to and accepted a job at Victoria's Secret. Bras and panties, right? Not entirely. It was about helping people find products that let them feel good. Provided them with comfort and support. Hopefully more comfortable in their bodies. So many of the guests I worked with had undergone some kind of transformation-- maybe the birth of a child, maybe a mastectomy, maybe an enhancement, or weight loss. And they trusted me to help them find products that made them comfortable. Or sexy. I'll never forget working with one (slightly challenging) guest who was unexpectedly in town for a death in her family and was emotionally distraught and needing help getting garments for her trip. And I had the chance to provide her some support.
Working retail gives me an opportunity to connect with people in a new way. And with lululemon, not only can I focus on taking better care of myself (since it's workout apparel and programs), but I can help others too. And more importantly, be inspired by them. Not every exchange is that way; sometimes the exchanges are superficial, and that's fine. But it's no different than how I do my work now. Each lululemon store is unique based on the community it's a part of. The store I'll be joining hosts a run club and yoga classes at no cost to the community. I can't wait to be a part of that. I think every position has a purpose and that none is better than the other. I think it all comes from an individual's satisfaction with what they do. And yes, I haven't started yet, but I am damn excited to join the lululemon team.
So yes, after 11 summers, 2 degrees, and 7 years as a professional, I am leaving higher education. And quite frankly, the reasons I've detailed here as just the tip of the iceberg as to why I am leaving. But I don't need to share my whole story. That's not how I live my life. In fact, I've debated all week about writing what I've chosen to above. But this is my story. And I know that those who truly love and care about me are backing me. And whether I fly or fail, I will never regret making this change and living my life bravely and boldly.
Comments