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Starting Over

I had a thought today. About what it means to start over. Opportunities like that are few and far between, but do you ever REALLY get to start over? And what does that look like? Does it take leaving everything behind? Or can you do it by just eliminating that part of you? I don't know the answer to the questions, but I'm doing my version of tabula rosa. 

In true fashion of my life, the unbelievable happened this year. I fell in love. Like fell like hardcore. Head over heels. Thought it was forever. Talk of a wedding, a life together and plans for the future were made. We traveled together. We lived together. He was added as an emergency contact on Maggys microchip. It was serious. It was amazing and incredible and I hadn't had a partner like that... Well ever.

And then he disappeared.

And I mean that almost entirely literally. I came home from work and he'd taken everything from his life and left without a note or a reason. And as unbelievable as our love had been, the total opposite happened. He walked away from everything that we built and dreamed... And I did too.

It's been almost 2 months and it's like it was just yesterday and forever ago at the same time. 

My heart is still bruised. I work on healing every day. I work on figuring out MY life. And what I love. And doing those things. Writing is one of those things. So here I am... Tapping away at my iPad. Getting back to having thoughts and letting them flow from my fingers.

Join me as I start over and start the chapter of my flirty and fabulous 30s.

Comments

Unknown said…
You go friend! He obviously could not handle all the amazingness that is JCris. A truth that I know is that you are a strong, confident, independent person. I wish a positive future partnership for you but it is not a requirement for you to thrive. You know it, I know it, we know it. When you walked out on me, I had the worst semester of my life. You bring joy into people's lives and he will miss that warmth, even if you never hear from him again. You are better off, but is he? I wish him well...because I am trying this whole new positive energy stuff but life will get harder for him. You are a fire and you will continue to shine and provide warmth to those around you. Love you friend!
December 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM
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