This has been a weird week. We had orientation on Thursday and Friday (our final one for 2015), had Saturday off, and then worked Sunday and into this week. So I already feel out of sorts with forgetting what day of the week it really is.
Then the past 24 hours I've dealt with 2 fire alarms: one at home, one at work. The one at home happened at 9:45pm or so, but I'd already gone to bed and woke confused and terrified. I had no idea what time it was, was worried because I couldn't find Ashley, I knew I was going to have to go back for Maizey (who was hiding under the bed) and had 2 terrified dogs. We safely waited outside to learn someone had just pulled the alarm, but it was an unnerving experience. Then the second alarm happened at work at the end of our program today. Again, everything was fine and everyone was safe, but another time of very quickly shifting gears.
And then there's been the loss of life. Someone I've grown up knowing my whole life lost her fight with cancer on Saturday. And someone I went to school with, but didn't know all that well, was killed in this story you've probably heard about.
It's weird because despite not having seen either of these individuals in a very long time, both their deaths have weighed heavy on my heart. There's a lot of reasons I've considered and I don't think there's just one answer. But regardless, Brooke and Corey have been crossing my mind with regularity the past couple of days.
All of this has lead to lots of consideration of what is truly valued in my life. When I left mine and Ashley's place the other night- I grabbed the dogs, keys and my cell phone (and had plans to return to get Maizey). I had no idea what Ash would have wanted me to get of hers, but those are the items I prioritized in those moments of panic. At a suicide prevention training yesterday, we were reminded that we should have a will and life insurance. How do you prepare for the unknown in a healthy and realistic way, but live a fulfilled life prioritizing what feels right?
I guess with my upcoming birthday and continuing to age (not that most believe I am my age... most think I'm a college student), these things also carry more weight and consideration in my decision making each day. How do you do it all right? I don't have all the answers, but I believe Johnny Depp is on the right track. If nothing else, I can do everything with love and keep that as my center.
Here's to letting love lead the way.
Then the past 24 hours I've dealt with 2 fire alarms: one at home, one at work. The one at home happened at 9:45pm or so, but I'd already gone to bed and woke confused and terrified. I had no idea what time it was, was worried because I couldn't find Ashley, I knew I was going to have to go back for Maizey (who was hiding under the bed) and had 2 terrified dogs. We safely waited outside to learn someone had just pulled the alarm, but it was an unnerving experience. Then the second alarm happened at work at the end of our program today. Again, everything was fine and everyone was safe, but another time of very quickly shifting gears.
And then there's been the loss of life. Someone I've grown up knowing my whole life lost her fight with cancer on Saturday. And someone I went to school with, but didn't know all that well, was killed in this story you've probably heard about.
It's weird because despite not having seen either of these individuals in a very long time, both their deaths have weighed heavy on my heart. There's a lot of reasons I've considered and I don't think there's just one answer. But regardless, Brooke and Corey have been crossing my mind with regularity the past couple of days.
All of this has lead to lots of consideration of what is truly valued in my life. When I left mine and Ashley's place the other night- I grabbed the dogs, keys and my cell phone (and had plans to return to get Maizey). I had no idea what Ash would have wanted me to get of hers, but those are the items I prioritized in those moments of panic. At a suicide prevention training yesterday, we were reminded that we should have a will and life insurance. How do you prepare for the unknown in a healthy and realistic way, but live a fulfilled life prioritizing what feels right?
I guess with my upcoming birthday and continuing to age (not that most believe I am my age... most think I'm a college student), these things also carry more weight and consideration in my decision making each day. How do you do it all right? I don't have all the answers, but I believe Johnny Depp is on the right track. If nothing else, I can do everything with love and keep that as my center.
Here's to letting love lead the way.
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