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Who Will You Be?

Who knows about Strengths Finder or Strengths Quest?

I'll be honest, off hand, I can't tell you my top 5. If I work real hard, think about it, and maybe flip back through my photos, I'll find a picture of the sticky note that has them written down (which let's not kid ourselves, I just did for the sake of this post).

Drumroll please....

They are:
  1. Empathy
  2. Individualization
  3. Maximizer
  4. Connectedness
  5. Developer
This means that I have a bunch of skills that make me really great at relationship building and looking at other people's skills and helping them use their skills to further their growth and recognize them in their success.  I also think this means I feel things really deeply, sometimes in an overly sensitive way if I don't think people have considered my feelings or being in a decision they've made.

But I love my top five. And really, my favorite right now is 'connectedness.'   I think the most powerful part of that description is: Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger.  And that so speaks to my heart.  I by no means consider myself a religious person, but I do consider myself spiritual in a grande scheme way.  And connectedness is just that for me.  It happens for a reason, whether we understand it or not.

I've had a really hard 6 months.  Definitely the hardest since I've lived in Raleigh and maybe the most challenging for me in all aspects of my life (professionally, personally, physically and emotionally)--I felt like it all came in such close succession.  I've been beat up in a lot of ways... and spent a lot of time thinking about all the blessings and stressors that come with each of those events. 

And I think I've been able to make it through all of that because of my belief in connectedness. That it's all happening for some greater reason, whether I know or understand it or not. That with some of those tough things that have happened, some amazing things have come into my life too. Building new, close girlfriends here in Raleigh. Being able to support my friends through new adventures in their lives (mostly being marriages and parenthood, but some others as well).  Reconnecting with friends I hadn't seen in a couple of years. And finding a renewed interest in different forms of exercise (cycling being my new favorite). It's all happening because of something else.

Tonight as I sat with my students, as we are all busting our booties to make everything ready for Orientation to start on Monday, it just hit me. It may not make sense, but I was in that chair for a reason. And in Raleigh for a reason. And the people in my life are there for a reason.  And there are all the other people and places that aren't supposed to be there too.  And that the moments that made me uncomfortable and laugh til I cried tonight were there to serve as moments for me to connect with my experiences and be appreciative of what I have and am.

It all also goes along with my all time favorite quote from one of my all time favorite songs... 'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.'  Which right now ties into two larger, different but related questions I'm asking myself on a daily basis- 

  1. Who will you be? 
  2. Why the hell not?
I'm finding the answers to those questions and in an authentic way, and (trying) to share  what I learn along the way. It hasn't been and its's not going to be easy. And not always fun. But it will be worth it.  Because I only get these experiences once. And I plan to make them count.

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