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Remembering What Can Never Be Forgotten

A couple years ago, after this day, I tried to document what happened on April 27, 2011, but never successfully got the whole story down.  I wanted to capture that day accurately and entirely so I never could forget all the details of what happened the day a tornado ravaged the town I was living in. And I never could do it. It was too raw, too painful. And every day I still remember that day and it still hurts, but I hope I can do that day justice as I write this blog now.

We knew bad weather was on the way. Lots of people were heading home early, but this wasn't something I felt I could do.  So keeping the news on in the background, I worked at my desk, glancing out the window every so often. I emailed a (now) friend who I was supposed to meet for the first time that day, he was in town visiting for work, and told him what news sources to follow and warned him to be careful because it was going to get bad. At some point, students came down to line the hallways of our building (our offices were located in a residence hall).  When we lost power, my supervisor Sara and I, the only 2 remaining in the office at this time, decided it was time to shut all the doors and to tuck ourselves between furniture, but not before seeing the tornado in the distance.

One of my best friends, Caleb, called to see if I was okay. He was visiting his family in Tennessee and was watching the news and the tornado from home.  I've heard you could watch the tornado move right towards campus and the football stadium, and then take an incredible turn away (I've never watched the footage to find out if this is true or not). It also missed our hospital somehow. Caleb was my lifesaver that day, but I'll get to that. I called my roommate Jessi, who was home that day, to see if she was okay. She had no idea what was going on in town from our home about 25 minutes outside of Tuscaloosa. We had a brief conversation where I told her to get the animals, and get inside a bathroom of our house and be safe.

We hid for a while, and at some point, decided it was safe to venture out of the office and try to get home.  I very quickly figured out that this was not going to be a possibility for me.  The first place I was able to get to was a gas station in Northport, just outside of Tuscaloosa. I used the bathroom, filled up my car and charged my phone. I couldn't make or send texts, but had access to my gmail chat.  I told my sister in law I was okay, even though none of my family knew what was going on in Alabama. My other roommate Jeff was also on campus and would call me every so often to see where I was and if I was okay.  I tried to get a variety of places, to Vance, home, to campus... and everything was a bust, the tornado had destroyed every path I had. Caleb consistently called to see how he could help- tried helping me find routes or hotels that I could potentially stay at to be safe for the night. He made me laugh in moments of pure fear and sadness.

After about 5 hours, I decided to make 1 final attempt to get home, knowing my only other safe option was to go back to campus, lock myself in the office and sleep there.  By the grace of someone, in the pitch black of a city that had no power, I made it home.  I walked in the door crying; Maizey ran to me and licked the tears from my face as I told Jessi what had happened.  Without power and being removed from town, she had no concept of what had happened to our town.  We agreed to go to sleep and to get up in the morning to go to campus and help how we could.

In the daylight, words cannot describe what we saw.  It was a beautiful day, warm, clear skye, so peaceful... and littered with complete and utter destruction. As I answered frantic phone calls from our families on our crisis hotline, confirming for them if their student had checked into Urec, or yes, where they were living was destroyed by the tornado, my heart ached with every phone call.  But the ones I'll never forget were from the strangers who had no connection to Tuscaloosa or to the University, but called to say they wanted to donate to help us or offering prayers and thoughts of support.  Those are the moments that kept me going.

It took me over a month to venture through the most destroyed areas of our town- I didn't want to see what I already knew existed.  I spent time volunteering and was amazed at the support that came from all over the country. But nothing could undo seeing the horror and experiencing the loss of safety and security that came with the destruction of that day.  The radio stations were in emergency mode for about that same amount of time... it was a strange sound one morning when Kidd Kraddick in the morning was on the radio rather than updates of where needed what supplies.  Seeing military officials in uniform with massive guns regulating traffic and controlling the peace of our community was standard.  Having a city-wide curfew became routine. Living in a natural disaster is a very strange experience, where turmoil and being in a constant state of emergency becomes your normal.

There are still parts of that day and that experience that I can't let myself think too much about. There are parts of my memory that are still too raw to deal with. And I know it's not healthy to compartmentalize, but at the time I had no other way of going on unless I did just that.

Tuscaloosa wasn't the only part of Alabama affected that day.  Much of the state experienced that same tornado over the course of the day.  And while I hate it, it helped to have one of my best friends from college, Killimayer, know and understand what this experience was like up in Huntsville. While I would never wish this pain on anyone, having someone who understands is comfort in the wake of such tragedy.

Tomorrow marks 3 years. And I know I'll experience a lot of anxiety tomorrow, even if it's 80-degrees, sunny, no clouds in the sky. And maybe even some tears.  But I plan on enjoying life tomorrow and appreciating what I have. Remembering those who were lost and celebrating the growth Tuscaloosa has made since that day. While Tuscaloosa may not be home for me anymore, it was always be a part of Sweet Home Alabama, and hold a special place in my heart. Tomorrow, hug your loved ones a little tighter. Remember to tell people you love and appreciate them. For you never know what tomorrow holds.

4-27-11. T-Town Never Down.

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