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Reminders

If you know me, you know that disorganization sends shudders down my spine. That everything has a place. And a system of being done. Trust me, there is a right and a wrong way of emptying the dishwasher. And there are times on your alarm clock you should not wake up to. An order that you should bathe in the shower.

And yes, while you're asking me if I knew I had OCD tendencies, I do. I was just having a conversation with my physician about it today as a matter of fact.

 Post-It notes are my favorite kind of reminder. Normally, I have several going all at once--especially on my desk at work. I have a notepad in my car and in my purse. And then just in case, I use the 'Notes' function on my iphone like it's no ones business. I was comparing notes in my phone to notes in my notebook I keep in my purse earlier, just to make sure I hadn't missed anything.

Yes- I know... it's neurotic.

 Scars are another kind of reminder. I saw something the other day that described them as 'something that tried to hurt you and you were stronger than.' Being a klutz, I have an abundance of scars. From my shins all the way up to my nose.  Bicycle accidents, falling on stairs, falling down stairs, slipping on rocks, giving the cat a bath... each has a story. A reminder of that part of my life.

 But I got a reminder today that I did not enjoy. In fact, it created a knot in my stomach.


Seriously? In all honesty, I'm not considering deleting this app so I don't have to see any more of this nonsense. If you read my last post, you know I'm not much of a fan of holidays. But being recently single makes Valentine's Day all that much more disgusting.  The only good thing about this holiday is chocolate, and if I want it, I don't have a problem getting it any other time... it's not like Cadberry eggs and Easter.

I know this app didn't mean any harm. It's just doing it's part to cause anxiety and/or excitement in all who read this notice. But it served as a much more than just a reminder of a holiday to make plans with my loved ones. It's a reminder of all my failed relationships. Of all the scars on my heart that are unseen, but felt every day.

I know I'm not alone. I have an amazing support system- incredible friends and family that would do anything for me. But most of them have their 'someones'- whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, partner, cat, dog, child... And I have my girls- Maizey and Maggy. But when I go home at the end of the day, and I have a wiggly dog jumping with excitement to see me, and a cat that stares at me longingly from a distance, with a look that says, I want you to pet me and say sweet things about how pretty I am, but as a long as Maggy is acting like a maniac, I am staying far, far away, I am reminded that my story is not complete and my journey is not done.

And I don't need an app on my phone to tell me that.


Comments

Unknown said…
Don't even get me started on Sweetest Day!!!! I hate Valentine's Day, mostly because it creates a standard of obligatory gifts, gestures, and ultimately a lot of letdown. Don't let a Hallmark holiday get you down.
January 18, 2014 at 11:33 AM
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